Thursday, August 03, 2006


Ok guys, I have a confession to make. I think I killed our camera. We went fishing last weekend (and can I tell you I had some amazing pictures?) and when we were crossing back across the creek to go back to the car, I slipped and fell (note: faceplanted) into the ground and rocks. Luckily I wasn't hurt, I thought I had sprained something, but I walked it off. As I'm walking off I turn around and see Zach and Stef looking concerned and Zach holding up our soaking wet camera. Apparently you are supposed to zip the camera bag up when you put it back in there. Who would have guessed. We dried it out and it still won't come on. I'm hoping the memory card is ok, and we are going to take it to Walmart tonight to see if we can get a CD of the pictures. I'm still really upset b/c now that I have no camera, I see all these amazing things I want to take pictures of, but can't. Ugh!!! I'm going to take it to Anchorage with me at the end of the month to drop it by Best Buy - thank goodness for service plans - and will have them mail it back to us.

The reason I'm going to Anchorage is b/c Zach and I are going to enter the next phase of developing our family. Most of you know we have been trying to get pregnant for 2 3/4 years now (but who's counting?). I have a condition known as Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) that has kept us from achieving our goal. The doctors do not want to keep me on the fertility medicine much longer due to the increased risk of cancer and the fact that I'm not technically obese as many others with this syndrome are - it makes you gain weight and very hard to lose it. In addition to Clomid (the medicine) we are going to also do injectibles. This means I will have to give myself shots. If after two months we are not pregnant, we are going to either try IUI (if you want to know ask or you can look it up) or move on to adoption. I think right now we are thinking we will try one or two months of IUI while also starting the adoption process. We have always known we want to adopt, so it's just another way for us to have a family.

You may be wondering why I'm telling you all this now. I'm kind of wondering this myself, but I felt it was time. We are coming up to our 4 year anniversary - can you believe it? - and we have had to endure way too many questions like "when are you going to start your family" or if I'm holding a baby or child, "that's really fitting for you". Quite frankly I'm kind of sick of it, b/c we both want children so bad that it just kind of rubs it in my face, but I'm also very anxious to let people know that we are looking into adoption.

I've heard many stories of people who have let others know they were looking into adoption and someone knew someone else who had some valuable information. We are really hoping to have a child in our home within the next year or so, but know that it will all happen in God's time. Why we have had to wait is beyond me and to be honest it's beginning to take a toll on me. I'm struggling in my faith, but Zach is such a support. I'm so thankful for him b/c when I'm down, he's there to either put me in my place, lend me a shoulder, help me see things from a different perspective, or all the above. One of the things he's said to me recently was maybe instead of us not being ready for a child (in God's eyes), our child isn't ready for us yet. We are willing to wait for our child, whether it happens biologically or through adoption. Please keep us in your prayers.

I know that this blog is usually really uplifting and light, but I think I needed to get some things off my chest. This may get severely edited or even deleted by weeks end, but maybe not. This is supposed to be a way for us to let our family and friends - all of you - know what's going on in our lives and this is what's going on.

Thanks for making it this far and for all your love and support. Stay tuned tomorrow. You'll have a special treat! It's a special day - for us anyway!

1 comment:

Abbie said...

Keep your chin up Beth. It will happen for you. I'm praying for you every day!

miss you!